Crummy Choices = Crummy Consequences

I am so tired.

I cannot hide that fact. I am mentally and physically exhausted.

The beginning of a new school year brings a lot of change of routine. It's been a busy week, and I have not had much time to prepare. The result has been chaos. I feel so scattered and defeated. I made a lot of choices that were out of convenience that had a negative impact on my health. I ate crummy, so I feel crummy. I am praying for a better, smoother week next week.

Tonight... I will drink a cup of hot tea and rest.

Not all days are successful, but each day starts brand new. That's the beauty of it.

I'll check in tomorrow.

Baggy eyes and clothes.

I am tired.

I mean dog-tired. I would love to paint my situation as glitter and rainbows, but my life more closely resembles that weird brown color that you make when all the watercolors blend together...

While I have felt completely unmotivated and completely exhausted, I have stayed on program. This past week I lost 2 more pounds, bringing me to 16 lbs lost in 7 weeks. I lost 20 lbs since having my boys. Thirty-six pounds total. My goal is to lose 34 more pounds. Although the changes are less dramatic, and my outlook on life is far from dreamy, I will not stop.

My pre-pregnancy pants are fitting very loosely, but the goal is not to get to where I was and stop there. I want to be a healthy, maintainable weight for the rest of my life.

Real change is slow and tedious, but long-lasting. I know this is true, but I am still struggling with feeling 100% in this. I know most of my current feelings are stemming from the fact that I am completely and utterly exhausted. My life feels out of control. My twin 14 month-olds are into everything and have now decided to throw fits... Oh, the fits... and the crying... and the drama. My job is busy and stressful and a lot of days, extremely hectic. All of my relationships are changing because of the whirlwind of my weekly schedule. Life is, honestly, really hard right now.

The only thing that does not seem to be spirally out of control is my diet. I am not feeding myself convent food full of ingredients that I don't need. I am eating according to my plan and staying within my restrictions. If nothing else, I at least have that to remain consistent.

Nothing revolutionary or inspiring... Just me, being tired, but not giving up.